Paella Pie

Ok, she’s finally lost it. I mean really, paella… in a frickin’ pie?! It’s all gone to her head, this vegan nonsense. First she won’t eat meat and dairy… now she is smooshing a Spanish dish in shortcrust pastry. Weirdo.

Shut up, it’s delicious. 

To make this, you will need…

Ingredients:
Shortcrust Pastry (amount depending on the size of the pie dish, I used 3 packs of jus rol)
6 Linda McCartney Chorizo Sausages
1/2 pack of Vegan Quorn Pieces
120g Frozen Peas
120g Frozen Sweetcorn
2 tins Chopped Tomatoes OR 2 Cartons of Passata
2 cloves of Garlic
1 TBSP Rosemary
1 TBSP Smoked Paprika
Black Pepper

Righto… get your pastry out to sit for a bit while you’re making the ‘innards’ (eiw) if you don’t, you will be violently cursing yourself due to diabolical cracky pastryness. Blip your chorizo in the microwave for 40 seconds, or until just soft enough to slice without having any ouchy knife troubles… speaking from experience!

Slice them into 6 pieces per sausage, chuck in a large non stick pot or frying pan with the rosemary, garlic, black pepper and some oil and fry them off until colouring nicely.

Turn the heat down and the tomato saucyness of your choice, passata will give you a thicker sauce… along with the smoked paprika and mix it up baby. Add some more pepper too for good measure. Have you got one of those looong pepper grinders? I always find it odd at restaurants when they ask if you want pepper from the other side of the room, because of their massive peppery shaft…

Now chuck in the rest of your ingredients and turn off the heat completely. Oi… no… WAIT!! Not the pastry you plonker! Good lord, what am I working with here!? *facepalm* Mix it up! Abandon the whole thing, push it out of your head. Onto the shortcrusty goodness!

Get it into your pie dish, leaving some for your lid… depending on what equipment you have, you may need to use some oil, vegan butter or non stick brown paper to line it so it doesn’t end in disaster. Got one of those non stick, springform expensive pie dishes?? Get you! This is no time for bragging, we have a bizarre pie to assemble.
Dump your innards (eiw) into the pie and lay the lid on top, making sure there is enough overhanging to join to the rest. Squidge, squeeze, poke, prod and crimp the edges together and make a hole in the top… you can either choose to make a pattern out of it or, if you are in a particularly stabby mood, just shank it like an unhinged inmate. Brush with oil or plant milk.

Into the oven it goes on 190c for 25 minutes, or until the pastry is suitably pastryish. Chop it up and plonk it on your plate with some garlic paprika mash if that tickles your fancy…
Eat.

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