I am a kindness advocate.
I believe kindness is everything, everyone should have their stories heard and their opinions respected.
Except NOT in this case.
If you hit your kid, you are wrong.
You need to stop.
I am going to be as black and white as I can about this.
Not putting pretty pictures in, because this subject isn’t pretty.
I’m even showing the definition of words for those at the back who can’t hear very well…
Parents who hit their children are doing so to ensure they do what they want them to do.
Parents who hit their children are using violence as a means of control.
Parents who ‘justify’ hitting their children by trying to use reason are not reasonable.
It is NOT reasonable.
It is irresponsible, lazy and damaging.
It is bullying.
I don’t even consider it parenting.
I consider it abuse.
Abuse disguised as parenting.
It works though.
This is where it gets a little tricky to explain to those parents who don’t consider abusing a child, abuse… confusing right?
“Cruel and violent treatment of a person or animal.”
“Treat with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly.”
Those who hit children, do so to force the child to comply with their rules.
The vast majority of the time, when a child is hit, the child will comply.
So that can be a hard habit to get away from!
Does that make it ok?
The fact that it works?
That it makes your life easier?
That makes child abuse ok, does it?
For those of you who are throwing your arms up in the air right now, saying “Don’t be so ridiculous! It’s just a tap/spank/smack/blahblahblah”…
Physical maltreatment (or sexual molestation) of a child.
Cruel or violent treatment of a person or animal; mistreatment.
Some will even say that they have hit their children – waitforit – to protect them! Like, from running into the road and getting hit by a car.
What the actual!?
Keep safe from harm or injury.
Can anyone smell cognitive dissonance?
The state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, especially as relating to behavioural decisions and attitude change.
Inconsistent thoughts: Hit their child to protect them: Abused their child to protect them… Protect them from what exactly?
It sounds like children need to be protected from abuse right?
The very thing they encounter from a trusted adult attempting to protect them?
IT MAKES NO SENSE!
Lets put things in perspective.
Let’s talk about something that most people are in agreement with.
When a man hits a woman because she isn’t behaving in the way that he wants her to… there is public outrage. Across the board.
This is deemed unacceptable.
Men are imprisoned for this.
Yet when a child is hit for not behaving in the way the parent wants them to… “That’s just what they need! Kids these days need to learn to respect authority. Running around thinking they own the place. Brilliant parenting!”
I really don’t think I need to say any more.
Do you consider hitting a partner to be abusive?
Do you consider child abuse to be ‘good parenting’?
How about you try connecting with your child instead?
“A person who feels appreciated will always do more than is expected.”